Chapter Eighteen

Lotor could not focus. Meditation was the last thing that his warring brain wanted to do. The more he tried to calm his mind, the more it protested. When he tried to figure out what it was that he truly wanted to do, neither option was viable. Not on Arus at least and not underneath the scrutinizing gaze of his blonde goddess.

He found himself in the training room again, pushing his body to its limits. He had enough sense not to try the punching bag or any full contact sport; even his blue skin bruised in shades of purple and black. He had to look presentable in the morning for his bride and every other person she needed in her life.

Instead it was pull ups while hanging from a support beam until his muscles screamed and then he kept going. He wanted his limbs to feel like jello before he finally turned in for the evening. It wasn’t quite the silent meditation he had meant it would work for him. He looked forward to a quiet evening and had instructed Grieg make sure that happened.

“You shouldn’t be here!” Lotor heard mid pull up and noticed that it was from a slightly panicked Grieg. “Where is Emilee? Shouldn’t you be somewhere else?” Lotor dropped to the floor, hearing the distinct click of shoes on the metal floor of the outer hallway. So much for his quiet evening. He barely had enough time to wipe the sweat from his brow with a towel before he saw what the who was causing the commotion.

“Allura?!” he gasped as he noticed her slender long legs first and the hot pink stilettos she balanced on. Grieg was behind her with an exasperated expression and he made a motion to indicate that there was nothing that he could have done. By the expression on her face, Lotor could tell Allura was determined. Lotor waved Grieg away quickly.

Allura hesitated only a moment, long enough for Grieg to shut the door behind her before she fixed him with a look that made him want to shy away.

“You are such a jerk!” she shouted, stepping up to him and slapping him across the face. It stung a little and he couldn’t help but notice that she shook out her hand after she did it. It hurt him more that she wanted to strike him than the actual act.

“Allura,” he tried to hush her but she was far from done.

“Shut up,” she said quickly, stepping so close to him that he had to step backwards. He felt the cold wall behind him. “You don’t have the right to even speak to me. How dare you impose yourself on my life. You aren’t even fit to dwell in my shadow. You are the lowest of the low. You prey on those who cannot defend themselves. You feed off of other people’s misery.”

Her face was very flushed, her stance seemed in peril but Lotor did not dare move. He had never heard such a thing come out of her before. She had always been prim and proper, polite and considerate. Now she stood before him, drunk and looking like a vixen and shredding his ego to pieces.

“You are so selfish that you cannot think about anyone but yourself!” she continued, poking her polished finder into one of his pecks. She seemed to pause a moment at the feel of his skin but only wavered a moment. “You put the lives of my people in jeopardy and all for a piece of ass.”

“Allura,” he had to interject. “I would hardly call you…”

“I said shut up!” She slapped him again, harder. This time she did not need to shake out her hand. His jaw stung.

“You have ruined my life! My childhood is gone, my youth is destroyed and before I even have a chance to live my life I’m tied down again all because you think that you are in love. You don’t have the slightest idea what love is.”

Lotor knew better than to answer until she was ready. She was on the verge of tears and she needed to speak her mind. Even if it took alcohol and a few more slaps in the face, he wanted her to work it out.

“I hate you!” she shouted,her eyes squeezing shut, her hands locked into fists, and with a slight stomp of her foot. A stomp that made her lose her balance and tumble. Lotor caught her quickly and steadied her but she fought him. The last place she wanted to be was in his arms and he knew it. She pushed free and stumbled a few feet away, managing to stay on her feet. She did not realize that her mini skirt needed to be adjusted and he could see her hot pink panties.

Lotor had to still his mind very quickly. The last thing he needed to think about at this moment was the princess’ panties.

“You don’t have the right to touch me either,” she said, standing stark still. Her gaze turned blank for a moment and then she shook herself. “What was it that you said? That I’d have to get used to being close to you?” She laughed. “You always were so full of yourself.” She turned and he could see mischief in her eyes. “How could anyone get used to you? You are so repugnant. Repulsive.”

Lotor knew that his expression had soured more because she smirked at his reaction. She was trying to push his buttons and was pretty close to hitting one. She seemed to have this all knowing look in her face and Lotor did not like it one bit. She sashayed up to him; even with her heels she still could not look him level in the eyes.

“I don’t see what all the fuss is about anyway,” she said, looking him up and down. “You are still a selfish jerk. A loathsome…”

Lotor did not want to hear anymore. Every word out of her mouth seemed to cut at him. He did the only thing that he could think of to keep her from speaking more. He wrapped his arms around her barely covered midriff and pulled her close. Before she could get another word out, he had his lips pressed onto hers.

He expected a struggle but she just fell into his embrace. Her lips were pressing back against him and when he deepened the kiss, she met his passion. Her delicate hands were on his chest, clutching at him as if she were going to lose him.

When he pulled away, she looked surprised. She was breathless and her pert little lips looked puckered for more. Then her anger returned and her brows furrowed.

“How dare you?” she gasped, trying to break free of him. She could barely keep herself on her feet. She had obviously had a lot to drink, where ever she had been. Every time Lotor’s tried to keep her from stumbling, she would swat at him.

“Allura, you are drunk…” Lotor finally said as she took a few steps away and braced herself against the wall.

“So?” she retorted. “You’ve been drunk a hundred times. I’m allowed to have a little fun before I start my servitude.” She took a few more steps away from him, using the wall as a guide but finally leaned against the wall for support. She slid down the wall on her back until her bottom hit the floor and then her long legs seemed to splay before her as if they were made out of rubber.

“It wasn’t supposed to be like this, “ she said, eyes welling up as she gazed across the room. “I’m a princess, dammit. Where the hell is my knight in shining armor?” The tears started to stream down her face now, making her look truly tragic. The sobs seemed to wrack her whole body between breaths.

Lotor slowly walked to her and joined her on the floor. He did not know what she was talking about but it appeared to mean a lot to her. He did not know how to comfort her either, and that frustrated him more.

“You are a jerk,” she said when he finally decided to put an arm around her.

“Yes,” he replied. “I know.”

“You should be sorry,” she said as she leaned her head against his chest.

“I am,” he said, even though she could not have heard him. She had fallen asleep against him once more. With a sigh, he scooped her up in his arms and went to the door.

Grieg waited on the other side speaking with someone on his console hushed tones. He quickly ended the conversation and disconnected. He looked at the sleeping princess and then back at Lotor.

“Emilee is waiting outside to take the princess to her room,” Grieg said quietly. “That was quite a tirade.”

“I trust you not to mention it again, Grieg,” Lotor cautioned. He was certain that Allura would not want it repeated in good company. Lotor knew he himself did not want to hear it again either. She had been dead on in everything she had said.

“It’s amazing though,” Grieg commented as Lotor took the princess to the loading ramp to meet up with Emilee. “All of that and you didn’t raise your voice at all. It’s like you didn’t lose your temper.” Grieg laughed at what he thought was a grand joke but he was right. Lotor had not gotten angry when Allura called him every name in the book. She had debased him in only a few words and his temper had not flared.

Lotor looked at the slumbering angel in his arms, with hot pink highlights framing her face. Maybe, just maybe, he could beat his addiction after all. This gambit would result in a real life and not the end of his life as he had thought. Maybe he could have years with the princess and not just weeks until his addiction killed him?